Mistakes and Shame

Our wonderful DTS Staff Isabella on the lessons she learned while leading an outreach team to Spain and Switzerland.

 

“What makes you a great leader is not never making mistakes. It’s your willingness to clean up your mess” 

This is what I hear God speaking to me as I am finishing up finances for my school. I am thinking back on everything and of course I am reflecting on all the mistakes I made. 
I am thinking about the things I shouldn’t have done but did and the things I should’ve done but didn’t. 
Thinking about the times I wasn’t loving other people the way I should’ve or want to. 
The little things I left undone (like finances) that are now catching up to me.
And the times that I was running away from God because I was so scared of what he was going to tell me. 

And I realise that all he ever wanted to tell me was that he was so proud of me. Not because I did everything right but because he is my father and more than anything he sees my heart. 
He sees that I tried my best, that I poured out absolutely everything I had and that I never gave up. Man is he proud of me. 
And also I know that everytime I made a mistake he wanted to remind me of who I am: My identity is not in being a great leader. That doesn’t even come close to it. My identity is in the one who loves me and pursues me everyday. In the one who is faithul and kind, compassionate and forgiving. In my one first love: Jesus Christ. 

Making mistakes makes us human- not failures. 
And after we made the mistakes we have a choice: are we going to run away from it because it scares us too much to look it in the eye? 
Or are we secure enough in WHO WE ARE to take ownership and say: “Yes I made a mistake. I am sorry. Let’s clean up the mess”. 
What we do with our mistakes never says anything about who we truly are but it does say a bunch about who we THINK we are. 

Today I am choosing to act on who I know I am. I am choosing to ask God for forgiveness for the things I did and for the things I didn’t do. I am choosing to clean up the mess and I know God is doing it with me. And when I’m done with that I’m going to let it go, because none of us are supposed to carry the shame of our past mistakes- only learn from it. 

Love,

Isabella

Originally posted on beautyfromtheashes-life.tumblr.com